Thanks for not killing me

Thanks for not killing me

by Garrison Frost

I do it all the time. I’ll be walking across a street – legally, in the crosswalk, perhaps even at a stop sign – and a car will stop. I’ll give the driver a small wave of appreciation.

Only occasionally do I stop and ask myself just why I think that small wave is necessary. What, really, am I thanking the driver for? For obeying the law? For not running me down?

I always feel as though the wave is a necessary courtesy, something that the driver is owed for taking the trouble. But the more I think about it, the more I am troubled. Am I really obliged to thank people for not killing me?

For all the talk of road rage, the streets in greater Los Angeles are substantially more polite and civil than their counterparts in other parts of the world. Waving another car through an intersection is unheard of in New York. No one in Chicago feels obliged to wave thanks when allowed to merge on a highway. And no one in Italy screeches to a halt when a pedestrian steps off the curb.

As much as people in other areas make fun of Angelenos for being so polite on the road, I don’t mind it a bit. What so bad about exchanging a bit of positive karma on the highways?

It is probably this instinctive cultural politeness that causes me to thank people who stop for me when I’m crossing the street on foot. Just the same, we shouldn’t be expected to thank people for obeying the law.

Moreover, it probably isn’t fair to only thank the SUV driver who chooses not to kill me in the crosswalk. What about all the other people I encounter in the course of a day who don’t kill me? Why does my gratitude stop with drivers?

What about the butcher who doesn’t hurl a cleaver at me or lace my meat with mad cow disease? What about the guy with the gun collection down the street who gets up every day and chooses not to make me the first victim of his tri-state murder spree? What about the steam roller operator who -- you get the point?

Honestly, when I stop my car at intersections to let pedestrians cross and they wave thanks to me, I’m always a little insulted. What did they think I was going to do? Do they really think I would just plow them over if not for their silly little wave?

There are some things people in a civil society should be expected to do without getting a pat on the back. Not killing each other is probably one of them.

(March 14, 2007)