When a broken pump this week caused two million gallons of raw sewage to spill out onto the sand and into the ocean at Manhattan Beach, one might have expected the incident to tarnish the city's reputation as a luxury destination. But it's not likely that the thousands of local real estate agents working the area will let their cash cow be sullied by a big puddle of crap. As we speak, we expect that they are huddled with Chamber of Commerce officials to think of ways to spin the message that raw sewage is, in fact, good for property values. Here are a few ideas that might help them make a case:

Thanks to heavy chlorine washing, Manhattan's beach is not only clean, it's anti-bacterial.

Mutant fish growing in the toxic sewage plume will give unique opportunities for angling enthusiasts.

The smell of fecal matter will attract throngs of home buyers from the Midwest longing to smell the fertilizer of their farmland once again.

The public's fear of getting sick if they touch the sand will create beach and ocean views untarnished by the presence of people.

The incident will create a whole new market for people with the sick desire to live near such an infamous disaster.

Those who like swimming pools will be drawn to attractive chlorine smell.

The fact that there was one giant sewage spill in this spot reduces the probability of another happening in the same place for a long time. What other beach community can say that?

Bacteria Beach will provide endless future learning opportunities for Manhattan Beach's "gifted" children.

The smell of the beach will drive away most of those pesky seagulls.

Locals will eventually embrace that smell as that of a "small town atmosphere."

Manhattan Beach can now lay claim to only the most dedicated surfers.

If the street lights on The Strand ever go out, the glow of the beach sand will help guide people people.

Most of the damage to homes was in Hermosa Beach anyway.

(Jan. 20, 2006)

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