South Bay Substitution Chart (idea stolen from J. Robert Lennon)

1 egg = 1 tsp cornstarch plus 1/4 cup water

1 cup cream = 1/3 cup butter plus 3/4 cup milk

1 cup butter or margarine = 1 cup hard shortening = 7/8 cup vegetable oil

1 George H.W. Bush = 1 George W. Bush + 1 education – 1 conservative buddies

1 cup Old Hometown Fair = 2 cups Fiesta Hermosa

1 Mike Gordon = 1 Larry Guidi

1 cup Pacific Coast Highway = 2 cups Sepulveda

1 405 Freeway = 1 River Styx

1 cup Slurpee = 1 cup Orange Julius

l cup broth or stock = l bouillon cube dissolved in l cup boiling water

1 pound Torrance Boulevard = 1 pound Carson Street

1 Strand = 1 Bike path + 3 tablespoons sidewalk

1 Old Town Pasadena = 1 Old Torrance + 1 foot traffic

l cup sour cream = l cup plain yogurt

1 cup Ralph Lauren = ½ cup Target + ½ cup bullshit

1 Krispy Kreme Donut = 1 donut from anywhere + marketing

4 Manhattan Beach Joslyn Center = 1 Torrance Joslyn Fine Arts Gallery

1 Hawthorne Airport = 1 Torrance Airport

1 golf course = 1 Ocean Trails Gold Course + 1 hole

1 Ford Expedition = 1 Cadillac Escalade

1 Grocery store strike = 1 persistent splinter in thumb

1 cup Galleria = 1 cup Avenue of the Peninsula

1 MTA 232 bus = 1 life ring

1 cup Redondo Beach library = 2 cups Hermosa Beach library = ½ cup Torrance Library

1 cup Chevron refinery = 1 cup Mobile/Exxon refinery

(Dec. 5, 2003)

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