| South Bay Substitution Chart (idea stolen from J. Robert Lennon)
1 egg = 1 tsp cornstarch plus 1/4 cup water
1 cup cream = 1/3 cup butter plus 3/4 cup milk
1 cup butter or margarine = 1 cup hard shortening = 7/8 cup vegetable oil
1 George H.W. Bush = 1 George W. Bush + 1 education 1 conservative buddies
1 cup Old Hometown Fair = 2 cups Fiesta Hermosa
1 Mike Gordon = 1 Larry Guidi
1 cup Pacific Coast Highway = 2 cups Sepulveda
1 405 Freeway = 1 River Styx
1 cup Slurpee = 1 cup Orange Julius
l cup broth or stock = l bouillon cube dissolved in l cup boiling water
1 pound Torrance Boulevard = 1 pound Carson Street
1 Strand = 1 Bike path + 3 tablespoons sidewalk
1 Old Town Pasadena = 1 Old Torrance + 1 foot traffic
l cup sour cream = l cup plain yogurt
1 cup Ralph Lauren = ½ cup Target + ½ cup bullshit
1 Krispy Kreme Donut = 1 donut from anywhere + marketing
4 Manhattan Beach Joslyn Center = 1 Torrance Joslyn Fine Arts Gallery
1 Hawthorne Airport = 1 Torrance Airport
1 golf course = 1 Ocean Trails Gold Course + 1 hole
1 Ford Expedition = 1 Cadillac Escalade
1 Grocery store strike = 1 persistent splinter in thumb
1 cup Galleria = 1 cup Avenue of the Peninsula
1 MTA 232 bus = 1 life ring
1 cup Redondo Beach library = 2 cups Hermosa Beach library = ½ cup Torrance Library
1 cup Chevron refinery = 1 cup Mobile/Exxon refinery
(Dec. 5, 2003)
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