"Ma'am, as you may have heard on the news, we have a Category 5 hurricane bearing down on the coast just off Manhattan Beach and the governor has issued an evacuation order ... in addition to denying the latest accusations of womanizing and calling another special election."

"So what does that mean?"

"It means that you and your family need to leave the area immediately. We're asking everyone to get at least 50 miles inland."

"Inland? Couldn't we just move to another beachfront community?"

"That would be counter to the purpose."

"I understand. It's just that inland is so, I don't know, dreary."

"Well, it's safer."

"I don't know, I've heard they have a lot of crime inland. Lots of illegal immigrants."

"I wouldn't know anything about that. I have my orders."

"Will the evacuation be difficult?"

"I expect an orderly event, ma'am."

"No, I was just trying to decide which car to take. If we're going to go off-road, then it sounds like a great opportunity to finally use the StabiliTrak on the Escalade."

"I think most people will just take the freeways."

"Oh, so you think maybe the Lexus then?"

"That's up to you."

"Do you expect a lot of damage, sir? Will it be like New Orleans? I worry about how this will affect ..."

"... your children? Your family?"

"My property values. What with interest rates going up, this isn't a good time to sell. But that gives me an idea. Are you speaking to everyone? I mean, is everyone leaving?"

"Our orders are to have everyone out by sundown."

"This is a nice neighborhood."

"I'm sure you and the other families will rebuild."

"Yes, but not everyone. Maybe this is a good time to invest in some additional properties around here. Once the storm comes through, I'm sure some prime lots will come available. I really should call Mary Jo at RE/MAX."

"That's not going to be possible, ma'am."

"You mean? Oh heavens no."

"That's right, ma'am. All of the Realtors have been evacuated."

"So this really is the end, then. We're really left with nothing."

"You have your family and your health."

"Oh, of course we do. Who do you think we are, after all? I'm just worried about our equity. Do I at least have time to get a Mint Chip Frappacino before we go? I could really use a boost."

"I don't think so. The lines are way too long going out of town. But they have plenty of Starbucks where you're going."

"Really, they have Starbucks inland?"

"Yes, they do. Plenty of them."

"So there is some ray of hope, after all."

"That's right, ma'am. Tomorrow's another day."

(Sept. 29, 2005)

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