Simple guidelines for eating at cheap Mexican restaurants

Simple guidelines for eating at cheap Mexican restaurants

Restaurants playing soccer on the television will tend to have slightly better food than ones playing Telemundo, and much better food than ones tuned into “Ellen.”

Making small talk with your waiter simply because you know Spanish will not make him think you are cool.

Come with at least a basic understanding of Spanish pronunciation. If you think that tortilla and flotilla are pronounced similarly, you need some work.

A lower Health Department letter grade in the window does not mean the food is more authentic.

Feel free to make special requests, but don’t be ridiculous about it. No reasonable person orders a burrito with only tomatoes and lettuce.

While the salsa is typically bottomless, the guacamole rarely is.

Some of the best Mexican restaurants are actually trailers.

While some Mexican restaurants will have American food such as hamburgers on the menu, you are best served not ordering it.

If you don’t know a good cheap Mexican restaurant, ask a surfer, or better, ask a Mexican.

Refried beans are often made with some scary shit, but that doesn’t mean that they can’t be marvelous.

Mexican beer makes Mexican food taste better, and vice versa.

Just admit it now. There is almost no possibility that you will order the flan.

(Oct. 10, 2007)