shopping for a home in Manhattan Beach

stepping into the dog park with half a roast beef sandwich

picking that coffee shop in San Pedro as a venue for your anti-union philosophy

thinking you could scare the raccoon out of your kitchen by running up to it

put simply, Day Glo

surfing near that stormwater drain all winter

expecting to meet the love of your life in a bar on Hermosa Beach's pier plaza

shopping for an SUV with no care whatsoever to fuel efficiency

spending all that time under the lifeguard tower during your last trip to the beach

leaving the house wearing that.

offering to be your friend's first real estate client.

not taking the LAPD officer seriously the first time.

mixing beer with beer and more beer.

driving off without parking money.

drinking all that coffee after noon.

thinking that anyone over 40 looks cool on a skateboard.

getting excited about what anybody says on talk radio.

walking into Krispy Kreme in the first place

joining the Army.

assuming that just anyone can paddle out at Lunada Bay.

allowing yourself 15 minutes to drive from Torrance to the Valley during rush hour.

believing that your vote would count.

figuring that no one at the airport would have a problem with your circular saw.

assuming that the lower the SPF number, the more powerful the suntan lotion.

taking seriously any of that "compassionate conservative" crap.

buying a car built in Korea.

hiring a lawyer who attended a non-accredited law school.

(Aug. 23, 2005)

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