Wear clothes appropriate to the weather. Just because you somehow are able to maintain a hard body in January doesn't mean is doesn't look stupid to wear a thong when it's 52 degrees and cloudy. Of course, it looks stupid to wear a thong, period.

When it rains, leave.

Don't swim near stormwater drains, especially after a recent rain.

Laying out to get a tan is silly, even if it's sunny.

Don't plant flags. Just because a volleyball court or cool hangout seems available in February, odds are the people who inhabit these areas during the summer will return in May and want it back. Being there when they arrive does not make you one of them.

Don't learn to surf. The South Bay's biggest and most powerful waves come in the winter months. You're bound to get pummeled if you paddle out for the first time now. The good surf also brings about the local veterans who have been waiting all summer to have the best spots to themselves, and they won't take kindly to some idiot splashing around the impact zone.

Don't let two or three unseasonably warm days convince you that summer is coming early.

Don't sit under the lifeguard tower. Don't let your kids sit under the lifeguard tower. Ever.

Don't get into the habit of taking your racing bike on The Strand. Sure, it might be less crowded now, but eventually you will hit some kid and feel guilty for the rest of your life.

Enjoy the available parking while it lasts – because it won't.

Don't cop some local-guy attitude. In the winter, everybody at the beach who is not surfing is a tourist.

Don't go in the water unless you have a wetsuit.

Don't try and sit on the sand and read the newspaper.

Take off your shoes and socks to walk across the sand.

Be careful with your alcohol. Just because you don't see as many cops doesn't mean the ticket costs any less.

On particularly nice days – and there will be some beauties – be sure to take pictures to send to your friends and relations back East.

If you are a regular surfer who likes to get in an hour at dawn before school or work, make sure some aspect of the beach is still on you when you arrive for your first morning class or meeting. Nothing makes you look cooler than salt in your hair or sand on your arms.

Don't go in the water with your clothes on.

If you're still there late in the day, stick around. The sunsets this time of year are spectacular.

(Dec. 3, 2004)

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