A few things that you can get away with at the beach that you can't get away with most anywhere else

A few things that you – as a reasonable adult – can get away with at the beach that you can't get away with most anywhere else

Using the words radical, bitchin' and gnarly.

Actually believing that laying down on the sand for several hours iss a activity.

Telling people that such activity is tiring.

Peeing in your clothes.

Wearing your underwear – or something very close to it – in public.

Running with a kite.

Reading super trashy books and magazines.

Sleeping for a very long time.

Walking to the liquor store every half hour to get snacks.

Letting other people see your hideous feet.

Blowing your nose with your fingers.

Wearing clothes that are less than clean.

Making such a big deal out of something that you found on the ground.

Not using toilet paper in the bathroom.

Extensive conversations about ear wax.

Having sand on your face.

Getting into a shouting match with someone over a volleyball court.

Speedos.

Making the argument that tossing a Frisbee is an athletic activity.

Wearing terrycloth towels as clothing.

Walking around with sweat all over you.

Letting your children run naked.

Digging holes for no reason apparent reason.

Throwing mud at friends and strangers alike.

Eating wax.

Day-Glo.

Zinc Oxide.

(Sept. 15, 2005)